we send a message every time we communicate
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
There is an old saying in leadership circles that everything the leader does sends a message. Think of the sheer number of opportunities we have every day to send a message to people about how much we value or do not value them by how we extend ourselves to really listen to them. When we fail to listen, we are sending messages to those watching and receiving. And none of those messages is coming out to our advantage.
One of the most powerful dynamics of human interaction is when people feel as though they have been heard. Really heard. Hearing someone does not mean we necessarily have to agree with what has been said. Rather it is working to understand where people are coming from and then going to a new place together.
Wow! Jim Hunter shared this little gem with us years ago in his book, The World’s Most Powerful Leadership Principle, and knowing what we do about About Me technology today…this just connects all the dots!
As leaders, we send a message every time we communicate. And a large part of that communication needs to include listening to and understanding our associates. Because when we genuinely try to understand them we express that we value them. And when we don’t make the effort we express that we don’t value them.
It really comes down to this: when people feel that they’ve been heard and are understood, their Number One Motivation is being supported. And we like people who support our Number One Motivation. We dislike people who don’t.
Don’t believe me? Check out a few of your associates’ Snapshots on www.aboutmecard.com. You’ll see that the folks you get along with best at work support your Number One Motivation and you support theirs. And the opposite is true for the folks you tend to butt heads with.
How do we change this? Check-in with your associates regularly. Connect with them and show them you care about understanding them. Then choose to support their Number One Motivation. You’ll be amazed!
Joe Kiedinger
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Agape, the other kind of love….
Monday, February 13, 2012
Well, Valentine’s Day is upon us! And folks all across the county are focusing on love. They’re busy making reservations at fancy restaurants, buying flowers, chocolates, and cards, and coming up with creative new ways to express their romantic love.
But there is another type of love out there too and I’m sure you’ve heard me mention it in the past. It’s not a love of feeling, but rather a love of choice. It’s when we choose to respect someone that we experience “agape”.
James Hunter, author of The Servant, says in order to be a good leader, we must show love and respect toward those we lead…even those we don’t always get along with. You must will yourself to express agape for others. It’s not something you will feel like an emotion. It’s something you must make a conscious effort to reach.
And how do you do that? Just support your associates’ Number One Motivation! It’s the absolute easiest and most powerful way to express respect for someone. And the About Me Card website has made this process so much easier! You have all the info you need available at one click of the mouse on www.aboutmecard.com! Just check out an associate’s Snapshot for a reminder of their motivation and then take action on it.
If John is most motivated by being Consistent, let him know you respect him because he always delivers, unfailingly. And you’re glad to have him on the team because you know you can rely on him. He’s dependable and steady.
By expressing your respect for someone through their Number One Motivation, you will light up their synapses left and right! Not only will they feel appreciated, they’ll feel understood. And there’s no better feeling than that!
Joe Kiedinger
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Honest feedback
Monday, January 30, 2012
One of the most unpleasant duties we have as leaders also happens to be one of the most important for our associates: honest feedback. No one really wants to give it and no one really wants to receive it.
It can be uncomfortable calling someone into your office to discuss mistakes they’ve made, their areas of weakness, negative patterns you’ve noticed, or increasing complacency. Part of this may be because of that age-old advice our mothers taught us, “If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.” Part of it may also be because we want to ask ourselves, “Who am I to judge someone else? I’m not perfect!”
But we need to bypass these voices in our heads because sharing honest feedback with our associates is not about being mean and tearing someone down. It’s actually the opposite. It’s about building them up! As unpleasant as it can be to mention someone’s shortfalls, it’s one of the healthiest things you can do for your associates. Because, all too often, we don’t notice our own weaknesses. Or, if we are aware, we don’t know where to start fixing them. We need someone to share their observations and offer ideas for improvement so that we can grow!
When you do speak with your associates about their weaknesses, be sure to share the greater good with them. Tell them, “I’m pointing out these negative patterns because I want to help you succeed! By helping you to become more aware of your areas for improvement, we can work together to strengthen you and get you on a better path toward success.”
Giving and receiving feedback is truly at the heart of a great Servant Leader!
Joe Kiedinger
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Don’t wait until tomorrow
Monday, January 23, 2012
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being a good Servant Leader, it’s this: don’t wait until tomorrow when you can do it today.
For some folks, Servant Leadership is still a bit foreign; it’s a goal that can be pushed off until another day. It’s a list of rules that haven’t yet been applied. It hasn’t become an active part of their everyday life. They may read one of my messages and decide, “Tomorrow, I will be patient all day,” or “Next week, I will practice being humble.”
But, let me tell you, a true and well-practiced Servant Leader doesn’t wait for tomorrow when he can be a good leader today. Opportunities to practice Servant Leadership are all around you!
Take a moment and pause. Is there someone at work with you right now who is frustrated and could use a hand? Or maybe even just some positive talk? How did you respond in your last interaction today? Could you have been kinder, more considerate, or more patient? Is there an opportunity for improvement among some people on your staff? Although it may be uncomfortable for you to point out shortcomings, it’s also our job as good Servant Leaders to be respectfully up front with our associates and provide them with the feedback they need to hear. Without it, it’s far too easy for us all to become complacent and potentially slide backwards. Feedback is truly at the heart of a great Servant Leader. Both giving and receiving it.
This week, be in the moment. Be aware of those around you. You will find opportunities everywhere to practice your Servant Leadership skills. And one day, with enough practice, it will just come naturally to you.
Joe Kiedinger
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MLK 25 Challenge renewal
Monday, January 16, 2012
Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: ‘What are you doing for others?’ -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
As many of you know, today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. What you may not know is today is also a National Day of Service in honor of him. Last year, in recognition of the 25th anniversary of this federal holiday, The Corporation for National and Community Service presented Americans with a challenge: the MLK 25 Challenge.
The MLK 25 was a call to action for all Americans to pledge to take at least 25 actions over the course of a year that would make a difference for others in our communities. And this year, they are renewing that challenge!
I urge you to check out the organization’s website at: mlkday.gov and get involved—whether as a team at work, as a family, or as an individual.
And truly, 25 actions over the course of a year are totally attainable. Your efforts can include anything from donating clothes or food to spending time with folks at a nursing home, picking up trash along a roadside, writing a letter to a deployed soldier, choosing to walk or bike to work once a week, helping an elderly neighbor with yard work, or even just making a little extra food at dinnertime and bringing it to a new mother or someone who’s been ill. If we all pledged to take 25 small actions this year, just think how we could positively affect our communities!
I can think of no better way to practice Servant Leadership than this! Will you accept the challenge?
Joe Kiedinger
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Change
Monday, January 9, 2012
You know what I would guess is one of the scariest things in the world to people, aside from public speaking? Change. A lot of folks out there are terrified of it. Do you know why? Because it means stepping outside of the safe little bubble we’ve created for ourselves. It means moving away from the predictable day that we can coast through on auto-pilot. It means our minds have to be actively engaged, adjusting to new information, and solving new problems. There’s fear involved because we don’t know what to expect. And we get irritated because it means more work for us.
But I think a life without change is far scarier.
I had an enlightening conversation with a friend of mine who works in a field very hesitant to change. Servant Leadership is nowhere to be found in his office. Every soul there is frustrated. They walk into work with furrowed brows—no smiles to be seen. His leader no longer greets her people. No longer says “Good morning”. There is no forum of discussion for work-related issues. Communication problems just continue on without resolution and so resentment builds and builds. Conversation of any kind is hushed. There is no positive reinforcement. Only a list of each employee’s faults is spoken. Suggestions are unwelcome. Change is unwelcome. Because change is scary and it’s hard work. The environment is toxic.
You are the enlightened few! You are on board with Servant Leadership. Please don’t fear it. Don’t hesitate to adopt any part of it. I know at first it seems scary to step out there and try something new. But it’s far scarier what happens when you fear change and do nothing.
Joe Kiedinger
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Resolutions
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Happy New Year! I hope you all had a fun-filled, safe weekend!
Remember those resolutions we talked about last week? How are they going so far? Here are a few helpful tips to keep your goals going rather than crashing and burning by mid-January.
1) Make sure your goals are realistic and attainable. Don’t set the bar so high that your odds of success are low. Make your goals challenging, but doable.
2) Focus on the positives. If you’re trying to improve your diet, for example, don’t torture yourself by thinking about all those treats you can no longer eat. Focus on all the newdelicious and healthy foods you’ll get to try and how good you’ll feel. Also, remember why you’ve made the choice to eat right. Probably to live a long healthy life and spend more time with your family.
3) Rather than replace a bad behavior with nothing (eating snacks before dinner), replace it with a good behavior (like taking a walk before dinner). You’ll be more successful when you’re focused on what you’re adding rather than what you’re giving up.
4) Take baby steps. Ask yourself: what can I do today to get closer to my goal? I can choose a salad over a burger for lunch. And I can park further from the office and walk a bit.
Look at your Servant Leadership goals the same way. Don’t imagine you can become a perfect Servant Leader overnight. Set realistic goals for yourself. When you get frustrated and want to go back to your old ways, focus on all the good thatwill come out of your new behaviors. Rather than aiming to stop a bad behavior, add a positive, new Servant Leader behavior. And take your goal one tiny step at a time.
Good luck with all your resolutions this year! May they be successful!
Joe Kiedinger
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Be “in the moment” this Christmas
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Well, it’s officially upon us! Christmas is just a few days away and the New Year is right around the corner.
As you rush around wrapping those last presents, baking cookies, and putting the final touches on your holiday, please take some time to be “in the moment” with your family. Put your slippers on, kick your feet up, sip some hot cider and relax with your loved ones! Truly enjoy their company. Because many years from now we’ll look back and remember these days. We’ll remember the good times we shared as a family and that batch of burned cookies won’t matter one bit!
I wish you all a wonderful Christmas full of memory making! Have a safe and happy holiday!
Joe Kiedinger
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Practice Patience
Monday, December 12, 2011
Remember last week when I urged you to cut yourself some slack this time of year? Well, this week, I’d like you to keep in mind that you’re not the only one feeling overwhelmed by holiday to-do lists (both at home and at work).
Your associates are probably feeling stressed too. They may be trying to fit double the amount of work in to accommodate vacation schedules and increasingly tight deadlines. So you may notice more short tempers and less casual chatting than normal.
That’s why, as Servant Leaders, we all need to practice a bit of patience with our associates this week. If we continue to serve one another’s legitimate needs in the office, we may be able to help lighten the stress load and make the holiday season a bit merrier for everyone.
Joe Kiedinger
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Stress
Monday, December 5, 2011
Drive past any mall these days and you can see the holiday rush has begun! Folks are heading out in droves to find the “perfect gift” for every person on their shopping list. They’re rushing around, carrying 10 bags, and looking flustered because a store was sold out of Let’s Rock Elmo. And what are they feeling? Stress!
We feel like others put this stress upon us. That everyone requests to have the perfect gift. That the decorations have to be just so. And we’ll need to make Uncle Fred’s favorite egg nog, 100 batches of homemade cookies, and a holiday feast with ten side dishes.
But in reality, we put this stress upon ourselves. There’s no one holding us hostage saying, “Wrap those gifts perfectly or you’re gonna get it!” We decide what we want our holidays to be like and we sometimes set our goals too high.
Similarly, we can be our own worst enemy in the workplace. We want to get 50 things checked off our to-do list over the course of the day. We want to be the perfect leader. We want to be a great example to our associates. And all of this pressure that we put on ourselves results in stress!
Give yourself a break this week! Set realistic goals so that you can successfully complete them. Then treat yourself to a small reward when you do. Maybe that extra decadent Starbucks drink you’ve been eyeing? Realize that you are human and you’re going to make mistakes. Try not to beat yourself up about it when you do. Instead, spend that energy thinking about how you can improve in the future.
This week, relax a bit! Only you have control over your stress level!
Joe Kiedinger
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